If we only had a way to make it fall faster every day.
So today has been incredibly stressful. It didn't start out that way, but once it got that way, it got bad.
A few weeks ago, Byron's parents told us they were moving sooner than December. No more November 11 wedding because they're moving to Michigan mid-October. We had to move the wedding date to the 14th of October. With trying to move by next month, and then planning the wedding, I already knew I'd be somewhat stressed for the next few months. I went back to waiting tables because I definitely make more doing that than working some minimum wage job, but somehow I ended up at the slowest restaurant in town. My average is terrible there, and I'm definitely looking for a second job. By this time next month I will have most of the money saved. That's my goal, and I will achieve it. I don't care if I have to bust my ass, it's not like it's anything new to me.
The stress today came from my childhood mentor. Byron and I have family dinner at her house every week, and she's very opinionated. She made it obvious that she didn't think we were ready to be engaged, but when she found out how much the things she had said were bothering us, she backed off somewhat. Tonight we went on a frenzy to work on the guest list and talk a little about the food. She had a clear opinion on what I decided to wear, but it is my wedding.
After dinner, I walked out for a cigarette, and she was sitting there with Byron. I could tell I had kind of interrupted something, but they said it was fine. Byron had been moody all day, but not because of anything in particular. He was in an anti-social mood, and quiet when I came outside. Nancy started in on how maybe we just weren't ready to be getting married, and maybe I didn't need to just be planning a wedding based on what I wanted. I told her I asked Byron his opinions, I wanted his input, but he honestly didn't have much of an opinion on everything. Later he told me that nothing is wrong with the plans we have so far (except funds). I was so upset for the rest of the night, and I decided to tell Byron that if he wanted to put off the wedding and thought I was taking it out of control, then we could just break it off. Turns out he wasn't saying anything to Nancy about doubts, he hadn't really said anything at all. She just took in his quiet, anti-social attitude and decided it was my fault for trying to get the wedding planned. Later he said he was actually relieved when I walked out because he was getting annoyed.
Even knowing that Byron and I are fine, and that we're going to proceed with planning it on time, my body just decided to go with the stress. I've been crying off and on, emotional. Everything is fine, and I have set my goals, but sometimes I just want to tell everyone the wedding is off and do it in secret to get them off our back. We're going to save enough, we're going to get our place, and we're going to have a nice, small wedding, but I wish we could just do it in private, my sister and his best friend there.